


The Thing

by hankypotram (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Could Be Canon, F/M, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Humor, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 17:13:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10365564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/hankypotram
Summary: Draco and Hermione have a lovely chat in a corridor, prompted by a mysterious object randomly placed on the floor.





	

Hermione looked curiously down at the object before her. Draco did too. 

"What in Merlin's name is this?" Draco asked, surprised. He stopped in the corridor, staring at the strange item currently lying on the floor. For the time being, he ignored the presence of the irritating Gryffindor who was also staring curiously at the thing that seemed to have been randomly dropped near the Potions classroom, although the sheer volume of her hair was quite distracting. 

"How am I supposed to know?" Hermione countered, stepping to the side to view it from another angle. The new viewpoint did absolutely nothing to improve her knowledge on the object, so she slowly began circling it in an attempt to understand quite what it was. Draco blinked slowly, trying not to snap at her for blocking his view, knowing it will end up in a huge fight and hoping he could possibly avoid having to talk to the girl as it only seemed to end in hexes, and he was looking pretty handsome today and didn’t want a fresh new scratch on his cheek. 

He failed. 

"Stop moving, Granger! I can't see the thing if you keep circling it like a vulture," he snapped, glaring at the girl. She looked up, her thoughtful face forming into a frown, and she crossed her arms petulantly. 

"I am merely trying to find a place where I may be able to see it better, Malfoy," she replied, nodding her head slightly as she said so, as to reiterate her point. 

"If you've been to a place once, and you've realized it is not the perfect position, why bother returning?" he responded, raising an eyebrow. She huffed and looked down. At least she had stopped moving - she was making him slightly dizzy, and very annoyed. 

"Look, why don't I just go to the library and look it up," she conceded, knowing she had given up her previous spat with Draco. 

"Look what up exactly?" Draco had a smug little grin on his face, and was valiantly trying to smother it before a Bat Bogey came flying his way, but was unsuccessful. So instead he reveled in his superiority, and turned up his nose slightly just to look down on her further. "The Thing?" 

Hermione paused for a second, ignoring Draco's snotty remark. How, oh how could she have been so blind? "Oh, I know what it is!" she exclaimed triumphantly, her cheeks flushed with victory. 

"What." 

"A, um… a Crumple-Horned Snorcack!" a wild guess, although Malfoy never had to know that. 

"A what?" 

"Do your research, Malfoy," she said, a slightly superior smirk on her face. Draco pondered if that was what he looked like when he said something equally as ill-informed and silly as that, although sans the ridiculous hair and feminine features. Furthermore, he never said anything unintelligent in his life, but a boy can dream. 

"It's not a Crumpled Horn… whatever, is it?" his eyes narrowed, catching on to her lie. Admittedly, he felt a little disappointed in not being able to have a particularly witty comeback, and instead forgetting the name entirely and almost falling for her lie. On the other hand, he was oh so very smug with the fact he caught Granger out with this little untruth and was going to make her squirm. In his opinion, it was never a good plan to try and outwit an esteemed member of the Malfoy family. How very dare her. 

"Uh, maybe not," her shoulders drooped and she eyed up the object once again. "But, but maybe it is! You don't know that." She crossed her arms over her chest and coupled it with a challenging look in her eye. 

"Why would you lie to me, Granger? That can only mean trouble," he brandished his wand in the air, eyebrows furrowed due to her blatant disrespect. For a second there was alarm in her eyes, but this switched to a deriding look that at once made Draco on edge. Since when was she the mocking type? 

"Yes, sure, trouble like getting Expelliarmus'd. I'm sure Daddy will be very proud," she mocked his previous penchant for pleasing his father. Also, where on Merlin's green Earth was this new attitude coming from? He was sure this girl only learnt how to speak through reading books from the 16th century. Well, unless she studied the language of the one and only Malfoy - he wouldn't be surprised, he was a very study-able person, and she seemed to have nothing to do but read. He hadn't been watching her, of course. 

"My father is proud of me already, prouder than your Muggle family will ever be of you," he spat. This little worm had decided to go down the path of family, huh? Well he certainly had more aces to play than this witch did, with her dirty Muggle parentage and all. He was a pureblood. Untouchable. His father may not be hearing about this, but only because he just personally wiped the floors with her argument, and the squirrel's tail seemingly permanently stuck to her skull had been demolished further by his impressive retorts. 

"Why do you always bring muggles into this, Mal-" 

"Because I will never let you forget how dirty y-" 

"Some people may think you're in love with th-" 

"-are nothing but a peas-" 

"-ou are quite obsessed, aren't you Malfoy, and you-" 

"Granger, I can quite assure you, Muggles are far enough below me to-" 

"Why do you always do this?" she screeched, her yell echoing off the walls like an odd, clamorous bouncing ball that obviously had no effect on Draco. Obviously. He was unaffected by such weak arguments, from such weak people. And Granger had not just raised a decent point. In fact, he was a little unsure as to why he had halted his incredible monologue for the likes of her and her pathetic excuse for an question. "Why do you always do this?" Pah, he had heard better responses parping out of a Pygmy Puff's arse. 

"Do what, Granger?" he remained cool. Cool, calm and collected. 

"Bring my parentage into this?" she crossed her arms, challenging him. On surface level, it looked like a mere comment to do with their rivalry, but underneath the surface she was really asking; why do you hate muggles, Malfoy? They are kinder than you have ever been. 

Of course, being the well-learned intellectual that Draco was, he understood these philosophical undertones and completely disagreed. Hermione had no idea of his true personality and character. He was kinder than that muggle Jesus guy! She was clueless. 

"Because you're an unworthy opponent." 

"In what?" her face scrunched up. What an obnoxious answer! But what could she expect from the preening, egotistic little boy currently attempting to beat her in a verbal duel. Emphasis on 'attempting', as the child seemed to have no grasp on maturity or any facts in the world apart from "My mummy and daddy are rich, so I get to be a spoiled brat and kick house elves that deserve to be freed and live their own life because of S.P.E.W," - she realised she may have swerved a little off course, but what conversation wasn't lacking in a little bit of animal rights? Perhaps this one, unfortunately, so she refrained from spewing her incredible knowledge on the greasy Professor Snape-esque hair of Malfoy. However, she thought it was about time he grew up, but no such chances yet. 

"You know, the thing." 

"Are we back to talking about something interesting again?" she raised an eyebrow. Malfoy, lost for words? The world must be coming to an end. 

Huh, he thought only he could do that, what with being a talented Malfoy heir and all. 

"And that interesting thing being?" Draco tilted his head to the side. He knew full well what she was talking about, and expected a little rant from the girl, as he knew that she knew that he knew what she was saying. Of course, he never got confused with those sorts of sentences, as having intellect and intelligence was not difficult. Unfortunately, his current rival in this argument had some brains in there, somewhere, too. 

"You know, the thing." 

"For Circe's sake, Granger, don't copy me." Bloody Gryffindors. Never come up with an idea of their own, do they? They just copy the talented, adept Slytherins that do everything and get no recognition for their achievements. Utterly unfair, and the Gryffindors ought to be sanctioned – not just for their lack of original thoughts, as well. 

"I don't need to. I already get better marks than you-" 

"Why you insolent, rude-" 

"Wingardium Leviosa," Hermione said clearly, pointing her wand into the air. For a second, Draco looked around the room helplessly, believing to be the one under the effect of the spell and being forcefully levitated in the air. Soon though, he realized he was not the target of the spell - and, admittedly, he expected Granger to do worse when applying her magic to him - and his gaze searched the room. Draco whipped his head around just in time to see her sauntering off with the Thing, most likely bringing it to Professor McGonagall. Teacher's pet. 

It wasn’t the worst idea in the world, though.


End file.
